Restoring a Brother Who Sins
Matthew 18:15-17
I love the Lord’s Church. There is no other assembly of people who will love you, pray for you, fellowship with you, teach you, correct you, and help you like the church of Jesus Christ. And generally, we find very little problem maintaining our Christian relationships when other believers do the right thing and behave toward us and others as they should. The problems arise when we and they sin—sin against God and sin against one another. How do you respond when a fellow Christian wrongs you? What do you do when a Christian brother or sister is caught in sin?
I have seen Christians and churches respond in a number of ways to sinning members—not all of them beneficial or biblical. Some respond with indifference, saying things like, “Well, we can’t be judgmental. We all sin. It’s none of my business.” Jesus shows that this response is neither loving nor scriptural. Some respond with self-righteous hypocrisy, trying to remove the speck from your brother’s eye with a plank in your own eye (Matt. 7:1-5). Others respond by spreading gossip or slander about them to others. Regrettably, that is just adding more sin and division in the church. How does Jesus teach us to respond to a brother or sister who sins against us? In Matthew 18:15-20, Jesus teaches to humbly, gently, and firmly seek to restore a brother or sister.
Before we dive into this passage, let’s remember the context. In Matthew 18, Jesus is teaching His disciples how to relate together as children of God in the kingdom of God as it is manifest on earth in the form of the church. Jesus is telling us how we should relate to one another as brothers and sisters in Christ. In Matthew 18:1-4, responding to the disciples’ question about who is the greatest in the kingdom, Jesus taught how we enter the kingdom of heaven by being converted and becoming like little children—humble, dependent, and without accomplishments or merit.
Then Jesus went on to teach how we are to welcome each other in Christ (Matt. 18:5) and care for one another in Christ. We must not cause His little ones to stumble in sin (Matt. 18:6-9) or despise any of them (Matt. 18:10). God greatly values each one of them and seeks after the sheep who wander astray—and so should we (Matt. 18:12-14). So, the context shows that Jesus is talking about humbly accepting, caring for, protecting, and recovering His little ones who believe in Him—our brothers and sisters in Christ. Jesus is a shepherd making sure that His sheep learn to care for one another like He cares for them.
Now, in Matthew 18:15-20, Jesus teaches about church discipline—restoring a brother who has sinned against us. Church discipline is the process of correcting sinful behavior among members of a local church body for the purpose of protecting the church, restoring the sinner to a right walk with God, and renewing fellowship among the church members.[1] “It is the corrective process instituted by Christ Jesus to bring repentance, restoration, and recovery to a sinning member of His body and to protect the church from the corrupting influence of sin.”[2]
Jesus doesn’t tell us everything about church discipline here. We can learn more about it from how it was applied in the church in the book of Acts and the epistles. But He does give us …
1. The Process of Restoration (Matt. 18:15-17)
Jesus begins by giving us the situation. He says, “Moreover, if your brother sins against you . . .” Or as some of your translations have it, simply, “If your brother sins . . .”[3] This situation begs the question, “When should we follow this process? Should we do it for every sin or offense committed against us?”
We all know that there are some offenses committed against us that are not all that serious. Sometimes people get tripped up by sin, but it’s just a one-time event for which they quickly repent. Many times, we can just let these things go. For example, if someone was rude to you when you said hello to them, or someone didn’t follow through on a promise they made to you—most of the time, we can simply forgive these offenses and move on. 1 Corinthians 13 says that love “is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs” (1 Cor. 13:5, NIV). The vast majority of our faults toward one another can legitimately fall into this category.
But there are other sins that it would be wrong to overlook in the name of love. In fact, there are some sins that to ignore would not be loving at all. When someone is knowingly and rebelliously disobeying the clear commandments of Scripture so that it clearly causes harm to the body of Christ or to the testimony of His gospel, then it requires that we deal with it as Jesus directs here.[4]
Jesus issues a series of five commands in these three verses that give us the four steps of church discipline. The first two belong together, “go and tell him his fault” (Matt. 18:15). The next step is “take with you one or two more“. Third, He commands, “tell it to the church“. And finally, “let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector“.
The first step is for us to:
A. Confront in Private (Matt. 18:15)
Jesus says, “Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.” (Matt. 18:15). When the offense is against us, or when we are the one who becomes aware of this kind of sin, then we must first go to them personally. Don’t wait for them to come to you, and don’t tell it to others. You go alone. It needs to be a private conversation between you and the sinning brother. Privacy gives the person an opportunity to explain if there is a misunderstanding and to repent if they have truly sinned. So, if someone comes to you complaining how someone else in the church has hurt or offended them, or if they come gossiping about someone else’s sin, your first question should be, “Have you talked with them?” Jesus says we are responsible for our own person-to-person relationships within the body of Christ.
Notice that Jesus says, “tell him his fault”. We don’t go to nitpick, vent, or dump on him. We don’t go to spew angry or bitter words. The word translated “tell him his fault” is a word that literally means “bring to light.” It can be translated as “reprove, rebuke, convince, or convict.” Jesus uses the same word in John 16:8 when He says that the Holy Spirit “will convict the world of sin…” So, Jesus is saying go and shine the light of God’s Word on the situation and allow the Holy Spirit to convict them of sin.
I suggest when you need to confront someone, first go humbly and gently saying something like, “Brother, I’ve noticed something in your life that concerns me. But I want to make sure that I’m seeing things correctly. Is what I see correct?” This gives them an opening to correct me if I’m mistaken. Perhaps that will be the end of it. If, on the other hand, they say, “Yeah. You see it correctly. Is that a problem?”, then you can open up the Scriptures and “show” them their fault. Do this with great love and care, the same way that you would want someone to approach you if you were involved in sin.
The good news is that when you follow Jesus’ process, most of the time this first step is the last. The brother receives the reprove, repents of his sin, and takes immediate steps to make things right. No one but you, that brother, and God, ever needs to know anything further about it. Jesus says, “If he hears you, you have gained your brother.” That’s the whole purpose of this process—to win your brother or sister back, not to lose them, to be reconciled, for them to be restored to fellowship and service to the Lord.
But what if that sinning brother or sister will not “hear” you? Then you move on to step two.
B. Confirm with Witnesses (Matt. 18:16)
Jesus says, “But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.’” (Matt. 18:16). Why bring one or two witnesses?
First, it may be that I myself—as the one bringing up the issue—am out of line. I may be making a serious “sin” out of something that is best simply covered with love. Other spiritual brothers or sisters may provide some objectivity that I lack. Maybe, after hearing my concern, and then hearing the response of the one I’ve confronted, they can tell me that I’m wrong. In that case, I should forgive and drop it. Remember, it’s not about winning an argument. It’s about gaining a brother.
Secondly, it is a matter of sin, and if that sinning brother truly is refusing to hear me, perhaps when one or two other spiritual brothers admonish him, God will use them to bring him to repentance. These brothers join me in seeking to restore the brother in sin.
And thirdly, if that sinning brother will not hear the combined admonition of myself and the one or two I bring with me, then they serve as witnesses to the process. Jesus quotes the Old Testament command from Deuteronomy 19:15; “One witness shall not rise against a man concerning any iniquity or any sin that he commits; by the mouth of two or three witnesses the matter shall be established.” They can confirm the brother’s repentance or lack of repentance.
This process takes time and patience. Let’s say the sinning brother initially rebuffs your correction, but maybe after he thinks on it for a few days, he feels the conviction of the Holy Spirit and then tells you and the others, “You know what? You’re right. I have sinned; and I repent before the Lord. Would you all pray for me and help me to know what the Lord would have me do to make things right?”
And again, if that happens, praise God! It worked! You have gained your brother, and there’s no need for it to go any further. No one else needs to know.
But again, if he won’t listen then we go to the third step …
C. Disclose to the Church (Matt. 18:17)
Jesus says, “And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church.” (Matt. 18:17a). Now, very important here. “Tell it to the church” does not mean you send out a mass email to everyone or post it on the church Facebook page. Although Christ does not specify, other Scriptures indicate that this step should be administered through the church leaders, who have authority over the church (Heb. 13:17). The leaders should make an effort to contact the offender and warn him that his sin will be disclosed to the church assembly if he does not repent.
If the sin has to be made public, the church should be instructed in how to relate to the sinning person. Church members should no longer fellowship with the person as if there is no problem. Paul says not even to eat with such a one (1 Cor. 5:11). He tells the Thessalonians not to associate with such a one, but then adds, “Yet do not count him as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother” (2 Thess. 3:14-15). This shows that all contact is not forbidden, but we aren’t to relate on a normal, friendly level that ignores the person’s sin. Any contact must communicate to him, “We love you and we want you back in the fellowship of the church, but we can’t condone what you’re doing and you need to repent.”
It may be that the Holy Spirit would use the loving but resolute admonition of the church family at large to move the sinning brother to clear, public repentance. And again, if that happens, praise God! A brother has been won! A wandering sheep has been restored to the fold. The matter can then be considered over; and the healing process can begin.
Finally, we come to the last step. After you’ve confronted the person yourself. You’ve brought two or three witnesses along. You’ve brought it to the church. What if the person still doesn’t listen, even to the church?
D. Excommunicate the Member (Matt. 18:17)
Jesus says, “But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector” (Matt. 18:17b). A heathen or tax collector represents someone who is outside the Christian faith and who is a notorious sinner. This means that we stop treating the unrepentant person like a brother in Christ and start treating them as an evangelism project. We remove them from church membership and refuse them fellowship at the Lord’s table.
Why does God tell us to withdraw our fellowship in this manner? Scriptures gives two reasons. First, it’s for the good of the individual. Paul writes in 2 Thessalonians 3:14, “And if anyone does not obey our word in this epistle, note that person and do not keep company with him, that he may be ashamed.” Dealing with one such notorious sinner, Paul instructs the church at Corinth,
4 In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, when you are gathered together, along with my spirit, with the power of our Lord Jesus Christ, 5 deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus. (1 Cor. 5:4-5).
Paul uses that same phrase about two men who had shipwrecked their faith (1 Tim 1:19), “of whom are Hymenaeus and Alexander, whom I delivered to Satan that they may learn not to blaspheme” (1 Tim 1:20) The Bible calls Satan “the ruler of this world” (John 14:30) and “the god of this age” (2 Cor. 4:4). John writes that “the whole world lies under the sway of the wicked one” (1 John 5:19). In other words, we turn the person out of the fellowship and protection of the church and into the world of the devil—not to ruin them eternally but to save them from their sin. The goal is to help bring about the appropriate response in the person, which is repentance for sin.
It’s also for the good of the church. Paul writes, “Those who are sinning rebuke in the presence of all, that the rest also may fear.” (1 Tim. 5:20). The direct context is sinning elders, but it certainly applies to the church at large. Church discipline serves as a warning to others in the church to avoid sin and repent when they do sin.
Can a repentant person be restored to church membership? Yes. Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 2 about the notorious sinner who was delivered over to Satan:
6 This punishment which was inflicted by the majority is sufficient for such a man, 7 so that, on the contrary, you ought rather to forgive and comfort him, lest perhaps such a one be swallowed up with too much sorrow. 8 Therefore I urge you to reaffirm your love to him.” (2 Cor. 2:6-8)
As we saw last week with the parable of the lost sheep, there is great joy when the wandering sheep is restored to the fold!
I had intended to cover all the way to Matthew 18:20, but those next three verses will have to wait until next time. Instead, let me urge you to apply the words of Jesus to your life in these ways:[5]
- Love your brothers and sisters in Christ. Love them enough to care about their sin.
- Prioritize the holiness and purity of the church. This is why Christ gave Himself for the church, “that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.” (Eph. 5:26-27). Sin must be removed. Don’t cause it. Don’t commit it. And don’t condone it.[6] Holiness matters to Jesus; it should matter to us.
- Follow the process that Jesus commands. Do not spread rumors, slander, or gossip. Go to the person first, and then take the other steps as needed. But do this in love with a spirit of humility and gentleness.
- Receive loving correction from your brothers and sisters. Repent and be restored.
- Take unrepentant sin seriously. When you continually refuse to repent, it may indicate that you have never been saved. Don’t fool yourself, without holiness, no one will see the Lord.
The only way to holiness is to trust Christ alone for the forgiveness of your sins. Christ imputes His righteousness to you. He sanctifies those who believe in Him. Paul writes to the Corinthians,
9 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, 10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God. (1 Cor. 6:9-11).
Have you been washed, sanctified, and justified by believing in the name of Jesus Christ? If the Spirit of our God is calling you today, listen! Repent! Believe! And be saved!
—————————————————–
[1] Got Questions, What does the Bible say about church discipline?, https://www.gotquestions.org/church-discipline.html
[2] Bob Hallman, The Lost Art of Maintaining a Healthy Church, https://bible.org/sites/bible.org/resources/assets/pdf/Hallman_LAMHC_message.pdf
[3] NASB, the footnotes says, Late mss add against you.
[4] Steven Cole outlines four principles in his treatment of church discipline: 1) The person must be a professing believer; 2) The person must associate with this church; 3) The person must be knowingly and rebelliously disobedient; 4) The person must be disobeying the clear commands of Scripture. https://bible.org/article/dealing-sinning-christians-overview-church-discipline-matthew-1815-17-1-corinthians-51-13
[5] Ray Fowler, https://www.rayfowler.org/sermons/matthew/when-a-brother-sins/
[6] Rory Mosley, https://fbcspur.org/someone-stumbles-matthew-1815-20/
